as you do and you know how there are always a couple grapes in every bunch that are a little bit dodgy. You know the ones I’m sure, the ones with little holes in them so they’ve gone all rotten, the ones that are strangely large and taste of nothing, the ones that taste like they’ve fermented, the ones that have inexplicably turned into raisins… you know what I mean right?

Well anyway, I found a dodgy grape today that really tasted very good and I think I’m going to have to use it as a flavour,Β  it tasted a lot like grape, a little bit like wine and a lot like vanilla ice cream. I think there’s a definite possibility for a really good summer drink or a nice white chocolate in there. Next bottle of skanky white wine I open up I’m going to stick some vanilla in the top and see what happens. It’s going to rock, I just know it.

The health and safety information I’ve been asking for came in the post today from two different councils and so I had quite a fun afternoon wading through those. To be honest, almost all of it was completely useless and rather patronising – no surprise there – but there were one or two bits of information about what things need to be where and made of what and things like that which did turn out to be worth getting.

They seemed very keen that I knew the dangers of dysentery. I only got one leaflet telling me how to sell halal meat and one leaflet about slipping up and hurting yourself, but I ended up with 3 copies of the same posterlet on dysentery, clearly it’s a major danger in the confectionery industry. Maybe they’re worried that since chocolate’s already brown I might be bulking up my products with what my uncle always used to call “tramp fudge”. It fills my soul with joy that the council has so much insight as to tackle this particular problem at the source. I think when the health inspector comes round I’ll have a cork board up so I can pin all the notices up in plain view, I’ll make sure that the dysentery ones get prime position and I’ll put a note up on the kitchen door saying

“Did you wipe and wash? Good! Now check yourself for dysentery πŸ™‚ ”

it’s bound to impress.