I feel cruelly betrayed, one of my closest friends and lifelong companions has done evil evil things to my chocolate. I’ve actually made the first batch of chocolate that I don’t really like! But who could it be who would ever be mean to chocolate?

(dun dun dun) It’s fat!!! (dundundun dun dundun)

I LOVE fat, how could it do this to me!!!! Everything gets better if you add cream and butter and fried to it, or so I thought. So today, when I thought that I wanted to make a smoother richer sort of truffle, adding an extra 60g of my good pal butter to a half kilo batch of truffles seemed like a good idea. Oddly enough it’s not. For some reason it’s made the chocolate taste all unchocolatey and like the centres of chocolates that you buy from the shops, except that it has a distinct and slightly unpleasant taste of butter… I never thought I’d live to see the day when I said that the taste of butter was unpleasant, but it really was! Since the centres of the chocolates you buy don’t have that buttery taste and they’ve got loads of sugar in them, which makes the chocolate set harder, I’ve come to the horrible conclusion that the reason most chocolate tastes unchocolatey and crap is becuase the manufacturers pump a whole load of unnecessary fat into them. It’s probably dodgy vegetable oil.

“What? Will surely there must be some kind of mistake, fat and creamyness is what makes chocolate good!” I hear you cry.

Normally I would completely agree with you, the idea that reducing the fat content of a food might actually make it better repulses me. When I use a George Foreman grill I use the fat that runs off the food to baste the food that’s cooking… all of the food that’s cooking – “haha see how you like some dripping you smug little courgette!!!”, I don’t have milk on my cereal, I have a mix of full-fat milk and double cream, when I fry bacon I save the grease that’s left in the pan so that I can pour it onto the least fatty part of the meal, but somehow I think that this fat is unnecessary. I’m actually going to try and reduce the fat in a batch of chocolates now to see if I can make them taste more chocolatey.

Whoah I’m on a slippery slope… low fat, no added sugar, all natural chocolate. If I ever stop saving my bacon fat I want you to stab me.

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