I remember when I was little I had a video of “the 12 Tasks of Asterix”. For those unfamiliar with its awesomeness here’s the imdb. I think the tape on that one snapped or wore out or something just because my sister and I watched the thing that many times.

Anyway, in the middle of wandering around defeating German Judo masters, eating titanic meals and resisting the fleshy lures of the priestesses on the Isle of Pleasure, Asterix and Obelix were set the task to go into a government office and come back with permit number A-38… needless to say it was much more difficult than just walking in and asking for it.

After a whole day of internet wrangling, with a break only for training followed by an hour of chocolate making, I think I’ve finally got it sorted, only unlike Asterix I didn’t manage to send the city council insanse… pity. I might have it wrong but it seems like to start a business selling food you have to :

1. fill in a form for the Inland Revenue to tell them that you are now self employed
2. fill in a form for the Inland Revenue to arrange National Insurance contributions
3. fill in a form for the National Business Registrar to register your trading name
4. fill in a form to register your logo/name as a trademark (thanks Nick ^_^)
5. fill in a form for your local council to register yourself as a “Food Establishment”
6. fill in a form for your local Commecial Environmental Health Department
7. recieve a level 2 Health and Safety Certificate from the Chartered Institute of Environmental Health
8. recieve a level 4 Health and Safety Certificate from the Chartered Institute of Environmental Health
9. be approved by your local health authority to handle animal products
10. recieve a level 87 Tolerance for Forms Certificate from the Institute of Life
11. fill in a form to allowing the departmental heads from all of the above institutions access to all of your orifices.
12. promise to kill your firstborn and offer up its heart to the God of Bureaucracy

I didn’t even get to go shopping…
I can’t face the thought of filling in these forms now…
tomorrow I’ll go to ikea and cheer myself up.

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