aaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

After writing a sweeping epic about the amazingness of durian my computer crashes, why?! I can’t quite face writing it again at this time of night, but don’t think you’ve been let off the hook just yet.

Here’s this week’s fun thing… I just plain don’t have the energy to give words that will express how awesomely fun their music is, just go to their page and have a quick listen.

time for a change of plan!

Today I was meant to go see another property around Brick Lane, but the landlord didn’t show up for the viewing this afternoon (graaaar! wasted journey!) and so I think I’ve just about had enough with the idea of getting a shop. I’m going to go back on Monday for another viewing and see how it goes, but unless the heavens open up and cherubs play when I walk in the door I think I’m just going to change for the time being.

I sent off an application to the soon to be reopening Spitalfields fine food market a few days ago and I’ve just been going throught the other markets online to see which ones I could/should go for. I think a couple markets a week plus a few contracts here and there should be ok to pay the rent since it doesn’t cost much to get a stall for a day and it comes with the added bonus that my sales will never have to come close to the level where I have to start paying VAT before I start having an actual decent salary.

I don’t have a car and I can’t drive so that complicates things a little bit, but not to worry, I’ll just build up some awesome arm muscles carrying huge amounts of chocolate by foot and possibly sneaking onto buses. Just got to work out some way of creating a stall that I can carry on my back. Right now I’ve got this hideous thing in my sketchbook that looks like it’s the forsaken lovechild of a typewriter and several umbrellas. Definitely time to go back to the drawing board with that one.

Looking on the bright side I won’t have to be tied down to any one place for long, I might actually have days off, I won’t have to spend time doing up a shop and instead, when I move into my swanky centrally located awesome pad, I’ll have all the stuff I was going to put in the chocolate shop for my own personal use! Wake up in the morning… sit myself down on my big leather sofa… have a cup of the most delicious coffee ever… put my feet up on my reclaimed wood table… sweeet!

I’m liking this change.

Durianolate… part II: the many faces of Durian

Now, for some reason, almost all the hits this blog actually gets seem to come from one post.

This one.

The one about DURIAN!

If you know me, or if you read the previous post then you’ll already know what a durian is. If you don’t and you haven’t then to summarise quickly, it is the giant, spikey, smelly, rich and oh-so-creamy king of fruit. It became the king of fruit in the old fashioned dark ages sort of way (by headbutting everything that said it wasn’t king of fruit until it died) and since then has been ruling over the fruit kingdom with an iron fist from his stinky tropical throne. The taste of durian is sort of like eating custard in a sewer… but for some reason it feels so goooooood and right. This thoroughly instructional youtube video shows how most (western) people react to the smell, but if you’re an addict then you’ll fight through packs of rabid wolves to get to it and, trust me on this, once you eat it a couple times you will become an addict.

Last time I was walking near Chinatown the scent of durian just sort of caught my nose and I couldn’t help going in and then before I knew it I was walking out with about 2 kilos of spikey smelly fruit. I remember what happened last time I tried to eat a whole durian on my own and it wasn’t pretty and I also remembered that I promised I’d make some durian chocolate at some point and so clearly the best way to avoid durian overdose was to make a whole load of fantastic durian based treats!

Sorry about the picture quality, they’re only stills taken from a video camera and there was no flash and the light in our kitchen makes everything look like death in photos. In real life this stuff looked amazing.

Here’s the beautiful fruit (notice the traditional newspaper and clearly super-awesome opening technique) it was so ripe that it only needed a tiny cut up at the top and then the whole thing just came apart really easily… true beauty. Not only that but it tasted seriously good and had tiny seeds. My mum called it something special, but I can’t remember the word any more. Basically it’s a lucky durian. Even more lucky than just normal durian!

The little bowl on the left is the seeds, the big bowl on the right is the durian flesh mashed up (minus the three bits that I couldn’t stop myself eating). Seriously creamy isn’t it! The chocolates I’ll save for another update since it’s getting a bit late on in the night for me at the moment, but before I go, I have to show you the other two durian creations.

Sweet ass durian ice-cream! Just my normal vanilla ice cream recipe with a whole load of durian mixed in and damn was it tasty as tasty can be. I think this is my favourite thing I’ve made recently. It’s been ages and ages since I’ve actually collapsed on the floor after eating something, but as soon as the unfrozen ice-cream mix passed my lips my knees just gave out and I went into literal spasms of a complete foodgasm. You can make it too! Just mix 50g of fresh durian mashed up with a fork into 250g of vanilla ice-cream mix (half custard and half whipped cream) then freeze it like normal ice-cream.

The last bit of durian had to go into a cake, it would have been a sin not to make one and so I went for a quick browse round the internet for a quick recipe and I found this one from one of my favourite durian sites, but it seemed to be lacking a little so I modified it a bit; for something called “rich durian cake” it seemed to have not quite enough durian and not quite enough richness. So here, for your eyes only, is….

Really Rich Durian Cake (cocktail umbrella not optional!)

200g durian mashed up with a fork

50g double cream

2 egg yolks

100g soft brown sugar

125g caster sugar

250g butter

4 whole eggs (mmm…. eggs)

250g self raising flour

1 tsp baking soda (I thought it was odd, but it still came out really moist so don’t worry)

First off heat your oven up to 180 degrees C, open up a packet of butter (handy that they come in 250g packets) put it in a microwave safe bowl and then use the packet to grease up a cake tin. Greaseproof paper works well instead, especially if your pan’s a little on the large side anyway.

Mix the durian, the cream and the egg yolks together until they’re fairly smooth. Warm the butter in the microwave and then beat it together with the sugars until it’s nice and fluffy then mix the durian mix in. Beat the eggs in one at a time, making sure that the mix is even before adding the next one.

Sift and fold the flour into the mix gradually and then add the baking soda last of all and give it a good whip around to make sure it’s all well mixed. Pour it into your cake tin and pop it in the oven for 50 minutes or as long as it takes for a skewer to come out greasy but otherwise clean.

Let it cool and then use it to amaze your friends that something universally appealing can come out of such an intimidating fruit. Serve it on its own or with more cream or with chocolate spread for extra yum.

Well, night night for now, but don’t forget that the durianolate saga is far from over. You’ll be seeing the chocolates soon as well as the rather good flavour combination I managed to find soon. If you’ve made it to the end of this post then you’re a trooper… I’m sure it turned to garbage as soon as the tiredness set in and I really can’t be bothered to proof read it just now.

If I’m not wrong I think there might be one durian chocolate still left in the fridge, I better go have a look!