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Now, normally I don’t really pay all that much attention to names of things or how people choose to market whatever, but I couldn’t help noticing last time I went to Waitrose that all the herbs had some sort of adjective stuck on the front. Clearly it’s no longer good enough to buy just plain old normal basil when you could be dazzling your palate with some amazing “Majestic Basil” and why should you settle for anything less than “Romantic Rosmary”… why normal rosemary just pales into insignificance beside it.
“hmmm…..” (with a little raised eyebrow to go with it) I thought as I popped a packet of sage into the shopping basket and paying not quite enough attention to its chosen appelation. Now imagine, if you will, my shock to get home and find not a bunch of “Awesome Sage” or “Kicks-ass-in-big-meaty-or-tomatoey-sauces Sage” but a packet of…
“Simple Sage”
Nooooooo! Is it sage’s mildly thick cousin or perhaps a pared down version of the herb for use by first time cooks? I would not stand for “Simple Sage” when I could be having the packet of “Fabulicious Sage” located just behind it.
Well, as it turns out of course, it’s just a name and the sage inside was every bit as fabulicious as fresh sage always is. However I resent the way that it’s been pushed so far down the pecking order in the herb consciousness that whilst other herbs are getting “adventurous” or “lively” sage is stuck with a lowly “simple”. I mean… sage is great, truly great! Rub it on roasts and it tastes fantastic, sage and lemon is a seriously good marinade (as well as a rather good cleaning liquid), fry it super lightly when making pasta sauce, add a bit to apple sauce to have with pork, it’s great with beans and you can even add leaves to honey, let the flavour infuse and make yourself some sage honey! Far from simple, hmphh!
Quite apart from the taste it’s also got like a million and one medicinal properties ranging from treating gas and idigestion to helping with depression and anxiety… or so wiki tells us.
Anyway, back to the main point, sage tastes amazing and having it labelled as simple does rather offend me (yeah!), but I think it upsets me more because it’s sort of like a symptom of some sort of horrible underlying herbal problem. This might just be me being snooty and all foody arrogant… but it sort of seems like herbs, far more than the rest of food, are used because they’re in fashion rather than considered for how they would taste in a dish. Loads of recipes seem to call for a bit of mixed herbs or whatever comes to hand just because it seems like they feel they need a bit of green or garnish on the plate.
When was the last time you ate the parsley that came with your fish and chips, or when was the last time you had a bowl of soup with a little herbal garnish in the middle and thought to yourself “Wow, that really added so much flavour and character to that otherwise flavourless dish!”? If you’re like me then the answer is probably never. Sure it gives the impression that the chef’s using fresh herbs and stuff, but really it means nothing past the fact that it has some garnish stuck on the top of it. I think a lot of people don’t really have a clue what herbs and spices they should be using and so if they’re adding some herbs then they just add a whole load of what’s in vogue… plus it looks nice right? However, if I have one more salad being smothered by opressive quantities of majestic basil or wanky coriander then I might go on a killing spree.
Bleehhh, I hate the sound of disapproval though, so I guess what I’m really trying to say is…. next time you go to the supermarket grab a whole bunch of a fresh herb you normally pass over because you think it’s dull, spend a good minute or two appreciating their smell – just sit there in the fresh herbs section and ignore the people staring at you like you’re some sort of druggy/leper – and then get down to some serious thinking about what it matches. Real adventurousness in cooking doesn’t come from using seemingly exciting ingredients, but from picking out what you think should taste good together; rediscovering the joy of fresh and well cooked rosemary with lamb for yourself beats the hell out of following some celebrity chef’s yoghurt, cumin and star anise version.
You’ll be pleased with the results, I know it!
So, as you do when you’re up at some horrible late hour in the morning when you’re doing housework and trying to work out how to make kvass and generally making a mess of a whole lot of rye bread, I was doing some random links around youtube.
Someone sent me a video of some guy doing the dance from thriller at his wedding party and it was pretty funky…. but much more importantly was all the random stuff that popped up as related links.
I’d never actually seen the full 13 minute version of the video, but that’s on there, as well as its faithfully rendered lego counterpart. There’s the strange version done by thousands of inmates at a Philipine prison and the really rather good version done by the cast of the really rather dodgy final fantasty movie.
But no version comes even close to the amazing terrifyingness, pure evil and unrelenting awesomeness that is….
The Bollywood Version!!
I don’t know about you, but if my boyfriend hiked his tight red pvc pants up that high and started thrusting his hips around like some sort of demented gigolo I’d clap my hands to my face and run screaming too. Take it to just after 3 minutes in and watch… that horrible moving image will haunt me until I die.
It gets seventeen gyrating genitals up…. and two hands clawing at my burning eyes.
You know, I knew I’d fogotten something yesterday… the beans! Damn man, how could my day possibly be complete without a serious recipe for Fagioli all’Uccelletto?! First off I really have to say that this is more or less beans and franks made awesome, but don’t be put off by the hours of work it’ll take to prepare something you might be used to popping open a tin for, this is satisfying stuff.
Spot the difference 
You’ll need…
300g of canellini beans
plenty of olive oil
1 small onion
4 cloves of garlic
a few leaves of sage
as many spicey sausages as you like
1 mug of tomato sauce (you know which one i mean)
First off you’ve got to prepare the beans. You can use canned ones (like I did the first time…. lazy lazy), in which case swap in two tins of beans and skip straight to through the next bit.
Put the beans in a bowl with enough water to cover them with a bit extra to spare, cover them and soak them overnight. Tip away the water and wash the soaked beans then simmer them on the stovetop with plenty of water until they’re just starting to get tender (probably an hour or so) and put them to the side.
Heat up some olive oil in the base of a big chunky pot and brown the sausages in it. Chop the onions coarsely and the garlic finely while the sausages are going. Once the sausages are browned take them out and fry the onions and garlic in the oil until they’re golden and cut the sausages up, tear up the sage leaves and put them and the sausages back in the pot. Toss them around and fry them for a bit longer then add in the tomato sauce.
While that’s heating up drain the beans, but make sure you keep the water and then add the beans to the ever growing pot of goodness. Stir and and simmer the pot on a low heat for the next hour or so. If it looks like it’s drying out then add in a little bit of the bean water you saved. Hopefully by the end you’ll have got most of it into the pot. Watch the beans too just to make sure they don’t turn to mush. Stop cooking about 20 minutes or so before you need to serve it and just let it sit and cool down a little bit.
Yum!
